Flew Ted to Miami today for the Accenture CRM Leadership Council. Ted is the low cost arm of United Airlines (get it? Ted Uni-ted). The biggest difference between Ted and United seems to be while on United you pay for the movie but the food is free, while on Ted the movie is free while they charge you for the food. A tattered $5.00 bill bought me a beautifully packed box of organic junk food. Inside were was a little can of tuna fish that smelled like cat food and a bottle of humus that tasted like baby food.(1)
Once the airlines really prided themselves on their food. Each meal would feature more than one course, there were entries choices of beef and chicken, salads, and cold little rolls with butter. The meals were sometimes served on a table cloth. Of course they still ended up tasting terrible - what food cooked in a microwave at 30,000 feet would not? But back in the day they at least tried to put a decent meal on the table.
The airlines remind me of my mother who one day during the feminist drive of the 1970’s decided she was done cooking meals and never set foot in the kitchen again unless she got lost on her way to the bathroom. The meals we ate after that were a lot like what the airlines serve today, light on formality and heavy on salt, sugar, and convenience.
So hungry passengers were treated to the film called an Unfinished Life. The film featured a very big cast: Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Lopez and a bear and was directed by a sometimes good sometimes bad director Lasse Hallström. It would not be fair of me to comment about the film since I watched with the sound off while napping. Still I seemed to be able to follow the plot pretty well. Redford is the only man in Wyoming without a working car and spends a lot of time hanging out at someone's gravestone. Lopez is in an abusive relationship. Freeman is old and wise and doesn't work very much. They capture the bear in the beginning and release it at the end but not before beating up the abusive boyfriend. Of course Freeman, the worst looking of the three, is the one who spends all his time lying naked in bed so it must be serious film. Did I miss anything?
Personally I prefer a free film over free food. It keeps the people who don't travel much from getting too restive. Time to see what Miami offers.
(1) For the record I my Right Bite package consisted of Bumblebee Sensations Lemon & Pepper Seasoned Tuna Medley, Late July Organic Crackers, Wild Garden Hummus, Stacy’ Multigrain Baked Pita Chips, Fino Selections Gouda cheese slice, Newman’s Own organic California raisins, and a Mini Toblerone bar (1) For the record I my Right Bite package consisted of Bumblebee Sensations Lemon & Pepper Seasoned Tuna Medley, Late July Organic Crackers, Wild Garden Hummus, Stacy’ Multigrain Baked Pita Chips, Fino Selections Gouda cheese slice, Newman’s Own organic California raisins, and a Mini Toblerone bar